Jealousy

I can't in all my life remember a time I have been completely fulfilled. There is always something or someone to be compared to and unfortunately, I am always the inferior. Recently I have had the worst case of jealousy in all the cases I have ever had. I find that most of it comes from feeling like I am not good enough for the loved ones around me. I get jealous of who talks to my boyfriend, my sister's sister-in-law, all the friends my best friend has, just anyone that I feel could replace me in some way. There comes a point when the jealousy is just an icky feeling you have to when you are letting it effect those relationships in a negative way. I have lost trust with multiple people because of something they cannot control, but that I can. Now there are times when you have a very good reason to be jealous toward someone, but what isn't good is letting it effect you. That is what has been happening to me for a while, and I find that the best solution is to practice self-love. Most of the jealousy I come across personally is because of my own insecurities and feeling like I have nothing to contribute to my relationships. What I and you need to realize is that this is not true. There is a reason my boyfriend is with me, there is a reason my sister texts me and tells me she misses me, there is a reason my best friend and I have been friends for so long, it is because you and I contribute aspects to our relationships that no one else has or can. And if you happen to genuinely be replaced, then that relationship was not meant to be.

Jealousy happens in all different forms for me. I get jealous of appearances; girls who have smooth hair, girls who never don't have their nails done, girls who have a smaller figure, girls with clear skin, girls with nice things. I get jealous of intelligence; people with higher grades, people who don't get confused in a simple sentence or conversation, people who know things before you're all taught, people who get things on the first try. I get jealous of confidence; anyone able to be in front of a crowd without shaking, anyone who can talk to anyone, anyone who doesn't need to think of what to say before they say it. All of this jealousy and I have yet to find a cure. I guess there is none. All you or I can do is realize humans are all similar but different, and it is ok to accept the differences without embarrassment or shame.